Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
