saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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