it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
