you win again, gameday.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
