Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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