we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
