Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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