She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize