how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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