Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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