she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
