This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
