Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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