oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
