so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize