thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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