bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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