That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
