Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize