I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
