So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
