Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
