the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
