i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
