The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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