I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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