you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
