is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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