Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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