I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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