Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
whose parrot is this?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
