Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
