my mouth tastes like poor choices
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
