guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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