Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
