These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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