I faked an abortion last night.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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