walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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