By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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