so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
