And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
