At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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