your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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