i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
