i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize