Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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