Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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