if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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