I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
