apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
