i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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