Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
