I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
