Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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