Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
