i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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