Where did you get a picture of my penis
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
