I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
