Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
