no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
