How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
birth control should be required to get into college
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
