He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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