He asked to "fluff my boner.."
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
