She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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