He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
