can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
