she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
