I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
