youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
