I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
