He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
