people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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